I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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