But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize