Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
