there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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