Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Fuck appropriateness.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Randomize
