Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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