dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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