So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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