Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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