So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize