can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
