yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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