He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
