That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Quick, to the slutcave!
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize