He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
You made out with two different species that night
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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