omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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