Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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