I am in a vortex of obligation.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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