I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
