I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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