why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
