i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
