okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
