so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
