I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize