My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
