I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
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