i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
The cops high fived after they tackled you
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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