he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
