Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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