can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Boobs speak an international language.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
The Olympian is in my bed
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
