i think i have herpe
just one?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
