I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
