I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize