I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
