i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
