I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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