I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
either way he was missing a nipple.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
