It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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