There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
