Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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