In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
he was CRYING into my vagina
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
