I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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