Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Randomize
