i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
