whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
