A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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