Rock
Scissors
Fuck
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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