i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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