Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
