using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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