I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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