I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
