My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
She needs sedatives and a leash
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
