if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
