one might say we're banned from that church
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize