All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
