just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Randomize
