guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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