Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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