Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
He uses pillows to masturbate.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
