She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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