My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
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