u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
